It's always good to have a refresher in these. These are our community rules for how we live out our baptism in treating one another. I am indebted to Bishop Greg Rickel of the Diocese of Olympia for the version from which this is adapted.
1. If you have a problem with someone, go to them in person privately and speak to them lovingly.
2. If someone comes to you with a problem with someone else, encourage them to talk with that person.
3. If someone consistently will not approach the person with whom they have a problem, offer to go with them to help.
4. Assume the best motivations of one another and don’t try to guess each other’s intentions and motivations. When in doubt just ask, “Why are you saying that?” or “Why are you doing that?” or “Why is this important to you?”
5. If someone tells you something in confidence, don’t tell. The only exceptions are if a person is going to harm her/himself or someone else or if a child has been physically or sexually abused.
6. Do not read or write unsigned letters or notes.
7. Speak your own truth for yourself. Don’t say “lots of people think . . .” to try to add weight to your point. Speak your own truth and let other people do the same.
8. When in doubt, just say it—as lovingly as possible. Own up front if you think you might not say something perfectly. And be graceful to one another when we have trouble expressing something or make a mistake.
9. Any conversation that involves conflict is best had in person and is worst had using the internet. The only email that should be sent when you’re in conflict with someone is “When can we get together and talk?”
10. Pray for one another. That’s not just a throwaway line. Lifting one another to God in prayer is how we learn, slowly and sometimes painfully, but ultimately joyfully, to see each other and treat each other as God’s beloved.
1. If you have a problem with someone, go to them in person privately and speak to them lovingly.
2. If someone comes to you with a problem with someone else, encourage them to talk with that person.
3. If someone consistently will not approach the person with whom they have a problem, offer to go with them to help.
4. Assume the best motivations of one another and don’t try to guess each other’s intentions and motivations. When in doubt just ask, “Why are you saying that?” or “Why are you doing that?” or “Why is this important to you?”
5. If someone tells you something in confidence, don’t tell. The only exceptions are if a person is going to harm her/himself or someone else or if a child has been physically or sexually abused.
6. Do not read or write unsigned letters or notes.
7. Speak your own truth for yourself. Don’t say “lots of people think . . .” to try to add weight to your point. Speak your own truth and let other people do the same.
8. When in doubt, just say it—as lovingly as possible. Own up front if you think you might not say something perfectly. And be graceful to one another when we have trouble expressing something or make a mistake.
9. Any conversation that involves conflict is best had in person and is worst had using the internet. The only email that should be sent when you’re in conflict with someone is “When can we get together and talk?”
10. Pray for one another. That’s not just a throwaway line. Lifting one another to God in prayer is how we learn, slowly and sometimes painfully, but ultimately joyfully, to see each other and treat each other as God’s beloved.
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